


she who sees the road ahead

by dancingwiththewind (highfaenyx)



Category: Slayers (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Gen, a hint of lina/xellos, angsty side of a character, character study of a kind, the one where lina never gets old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:56:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7851544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highfaenyx/pseuds/dancingwiththewind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>they say we don't choose our ways. they choose us instead</p>
            </blockquote>





	she who sees the road ahead

**Author's Note:**

> Lina Inverse is one of my favorite characters ever. It's been almost ten years since I first saw her on the screen, and from that day on I've been trying to solve her. So finally I wrote this - my understanding of Lina, behind that cheerful facade and all. 
> 
> This is my first fanfiction work in English, typos are inevitable.

Let’s talk about a woman from a far land, where wizardry is just another possible occupation, where it is not that scary and unusual to see a person in a black cape on the street. Let’s talk about this kid, whose parents were killed in an outrageous mazoku attack when she was so young that now she doesn’t have even a faintest memory of them. Let’s talk about a girl raised by her sister, the Knight of Ceifeed - that has to mean something, doesn’t it?

Lina does not remember much of her childhood; sometimes she feels strange about it, like someone deliberately wiped her memory out, but most times she just lets it slide. However, there are things engraved into her memory, things so important that she only turns to them in her darkest times. Luna, her sister, giving her first lessons in magic; Lina casts fireball on the her second attempt and is so excited the house is slightly set - well, maybe not just slightly - on fire. Her sister telling her legends and stories about ancient dragons and gods; Lina likes the parts about mazoku’s wars the best, asks Luna to tell them again and again. Luna smiles and obeys though there’s a hint of sadness in her gaze, for Lina seems to be drawn to darkness and the forces it grants.

Lina learns dark magic, excels at it, becomes the best - the same darkness embracing her more and more tight - in its gentle way though, and it drives her away from Luna, further and further, until her sister’s ways become so distant that Lina can’t be with her anymore.

The day Lina turns sixteen, she leaves her childhood home and never looks back.

She travels to the lands she had only heard of from her sister’s stories; finds friends and enemies, dares herself to live as bright and full as a person can. With miles and days passed she finds out that her force and talent are unusual - at least, unusual enough to attract the attention of the gods and demons of her world.

Lina expects to get older, eagerly - partly because it is a part of the great adventure called life; partly - because she is afraid that she won’t. And this fear lies so deep inside of her, for Lina is smart, wise even, and long suspected that, and knows that it is - likely - true. Lina looks in the mirror in the morning, and sees the same face she saw ten years ago - without massive number of wrinkles in the corner of her eyes, without gray lines in the red hair.

Coping with this might be Lina’s most challenging obstacle yet.

Xellos once said to her that Lina and him are eventually on the same side, side, which death cannot reach and that is the ultimate wall she cannot cross or break like she did with any other walls that were set exquisitely for her; and that divides them from the others. She didn’t want to believe him then, though. Now, however, …

It all feels unexpectedly bitter to her.

As the night comes, Lina sits by the campfire; Gourry is snoring loudly on the opposite side, Zel falls asleep with Amelia cuddled beside. Lina’s eyes won’t close. It’s been years and years of adventuring together with them, off and on, crazy years of battles and stories to be told.

Lina knows what to do. To be honest, she always knew; she just hadn’t been brave, daring, mature enough to accept it - the inevitability of the final separation. She wanted to stay a bit more, to enjoy the simplicity of life with the ones she loved just a little more. Lina may hate the endings, but that doesn’t stop them from happening - and now it is time.

Their story, their great adventure has come to an end. The book - this book, at least - is closed and the clock is striking twelves; and Lina has to leave her companions and best friends, just like she left Luna many years ago.

She quietly stands on her feet, making sure that no one is disturbed by her steps, takes the sword and the bag, and leaves. The campfire behind her throws sparkles in the air - a silent goodbye, just for her, maybe? That would make sense, Lina loves the fire.

In a matter of hours she sees the sun rising above the trees. In the corner of her eye, Lina catches a glimpse of the violet cloak, and here he is: cunning smile, closed eyes - her priest. She doesn’t stop, letting him catch up on her pace. For the first few minutes, they don’t speak. Lina feels comfortable with this silence; she got used to this mazoku a long, long time ago. She considers him best friend, best enemy - more like a person who might be the one who fits her the best.

There is, however, one question she both wants and dreads to ask, so…why not?

Might as well be another game they played.

«Who am I exactly, Xel?»

«It is a ..»

«Secret?»

«You do know me well, Lina», - he smiles, with his usual, cunning, mischievous smile Lina learned to even love through all the years she knew him. For this smile meant adventures, mysteries, revelations, meant roads to be travelled - at least, for Lina. Her question, his smile - that was their game, their competition, their secret (not his only).

«No point in asking you, huh?»

«Not now, maybe», - suddenly he stopped, turned around, face to face with her.

«But I promise you, one day, I’m going to tell you, my Lina», - he stroked her cheek gently with his hand; the next moment he was gone.

Lina snorted and said quietly: «A coward, as always».

«And how many days will pass until that one?» she shouted into the fresh air, knowing that Xel is still here somewhere.

And heard him whispering in return: «Does it really matter for us, you and me?»

Does it really?

No, does it? Because, in the end,..

In the end, Lina smiles and carries on. There’s always a road ahead; and it doesn’t really matter if she continues alone. Because Lina steps on the same solid ground her friends and enemies travelled; sees the same sky, breathes the same air.

Maybe, somewhere down her path, she’ll finally find out who she really is, though Lina suspects that it will only bring her emptiness. Maybe, despite all the odds, Lina will find peace in her endless path.

There are so many possibilities. No less than a number of crossroads she will have to take. How many, still?

Lina doesn’t know that. She doesn’t want to know that. There is nothing worse than knowing what your future holds, she thinks.

But for now, there is one truth Lina knows, believes in, follows: there’s a road ahead, bringing joy or sadness, adventure or boredom, friends or enemies - still there’s a road, and it goes ever on.

And so will Lina.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking up with me to the end of this, kudos and comments are welcome.


End file.
